Funny SMSz

Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ?
Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !

Funny SMSz
Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's welcomed.

Funny SMSz
Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons... Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!

Funny SMSz
Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...

Funny SMSz
I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.

Funny SMSz
Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
A: Those who don't have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!

Funny SMSz
Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ?
Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !

Funny SMSz
Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's welcomed.

Funny SMSz
Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons... Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!

Funny SMSz
Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...

Funny SMSz

I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.

Funny SMSz
Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
A: Those who don't have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!

Funny SMSz
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!

Funny SMSz
Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asian Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de!

Funny SMSz
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

Funny SMSz
Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.

Funny SMSz
Advice of dentist. "Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don't let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.

Funny SMSz
What building has the most stories?
The Library.

Funny SMSz
A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.

Funny SMSz
Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!

Funny SMSz
Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

Funny SMSz

If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

Funny SMSz
Education is incomplete without 5 B's
B - Bikes
B - Beers
B - Babes
B - Bunks and the most important
B - Backlogs!

Funny SMSz
Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.

Funny SMSz
Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait?
He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say 'Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait'.

Funny SMSz
Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?

Funny SMSz
Only once in your life u'll get a right person with whom u'll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones!

Funny SMSz
Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

Funny SMSz
I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can't reach his ass to scratch.
Funny SMSz
He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

Funny SMSz
How 2 catch squirrels?
It's simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U... U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS!

Funny SMSz
Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say... I'm MIND BLOWING.

Funny SMSz
My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd?
Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne.

Funny SMSz
The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.

Funny SMSz
There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.

Funny SMSz
True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!

Funny SMSz
Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple's photo man is on the right side & woman on the left?
Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!

Funny SMSz
Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money?
Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about you!

Funny SMSz
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

Funny SMSz
If u don't have a gf/bf, don't have a nice job, don't like partying & dancing, just have a boring life, then don't worry just log on to www.rabba chukk lay.com

Funny SMSz
A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000

Funny SMSz
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Thinking?
Still thinking?
Fathers day!

Funny SMSz
In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

Funny SMSz
There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & GOOD _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... Is right. Gud Day.

Funny SMSz
Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra.
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!

Funny SMSz

Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don't Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.

Funny SMSz
There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS

Funny SMSz
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me?
She replied: No!
And the guy lived happily ever after.

Funny SMSz
Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more. Besides don't forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc... If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business. Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!

Funny SMSz
Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

Funny SMSz
All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

Funny SMSz
There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.

Funny SMSz
What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused...? I knew you would be!
Funny SMSz
How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !

A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf?
He replied: The next one!
Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.

The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to stop reading it!

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!

If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes:
3rd Prize: Lots of Luv.
2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship.
1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.

No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it's none of ur business.

Ladies....it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely 'hope' you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.

A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.

In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
The Student replies: Father-in-Law

A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water.
Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I've killed the motorist.

As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases everyday.

Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
A: In advertisements.

Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

Q: What is the height of optimism?
A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have already donated 25 litres.

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:
Red: Wild
Black: Sexy
Blue: Romantic
Pink: Seductive
White: Calm
Yellow: Time to change it...

Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!

Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again

Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !

What did the Zero say to the Eight?
Nice Belt

Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?

Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.

Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don't u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don't parpoz d ROZ ROZ!

If U Don't Eat Junk food, Don't Smoke, Don't Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com

Another Moon?... Possible
Another Sun?... Possible
Another Sky?... Possible
Another person Like U?... Impossible
'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice.

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.

A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?
Push......Paa.

Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.

Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack

Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy

When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.

Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai

Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of....
.
.

Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It's urgent Cell no & name is as displayed

People who do lots of work..make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work..make less mistakes,
People who do no work..make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes..get promoted.

What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

Ganguly's Son: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Ganguly's Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !

U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

A friend is: Who lends you...
Pen in School...

Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map.

An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

Astrologer: U'll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.
Frog: When n where?
Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

Thought for the future generation: Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.

U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media

Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50

Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more

A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."

A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut

What's the definition of a skeleton?
A striptease that went just too far...

Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks

I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you

A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I'm with u, U have money & Bar is open

Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip... take out your... book from your bag and study!

Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

Today if anyone praises U for ur beauty, nature, style, attitude... kick them... How dare they fool U before APRIL 1st.


Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for u, so here is a shortcut - Just think about ME!

Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'

Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!